Honea Express

“Do you know what a ‘shart’ is, Daddy?”

“Does the Pope wear a funny hat in the woods?”

“I don’t know.”

I felt myself fidget in my seat.

“It’s when you poop instead of fart,” he continued, despite no signs of encouragement from me.

“Yes,” I replied. “I know what it means.”

“Mommy says it means a bad word plus fart.”

“Of course she did. Did she tell you what the word was?”

“Yes.”

“So why is there a place called Shart Factory in your comic?”

“Because the food makes you fart and poop at the same time.”

“What kind of food is it?”

“Beans,” he said. “Everything has beans in it. Wonderful beans. And the creeper is there just because it’s funny.”

“Does the creeper blow up from too many beans?”

“No, they just do that.”

“What’s up with the hole?”

“It’s a manhole. They jump through it and come out over a pit of lava.”

“So this isn’t about it burning when you poop?”

“No, it’s about dumb people.”

“Why are they dumb?”

“One, they don’t use correct grammar, and two, they don’t read important signs, like above the manhole it probably says caution, do not cross, but they jumped through it, and that’s just dumb.”

“It seems like a classic case of out of the frying pan and into the fire,” I said.

“That’s dumb, too,” he answered. “I’ll draw that one next time.”

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