Honea Express

Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

As I mentioned before, I have a stack of things to review and frankly, I’m tired of looking at it. In fact, I think I’m done reviewing stuff unless someone sends me more stuff.

In the meantime, humor me as I keep my word while spreading it at the same time. I know, it’s awesome.

STUFF:

Hasbro was kind enough to send me a new spin on the classic game Mouse Trap. It’s part of their U-Build  series where the players actually build and customize the board. Yes, you read me.

The game has a bunch of U-Build bricks which are exactly like, but are not, another popular building brick that the kids love. It also has a Space Boot(!), some small parts and the trap.  Sadly, the mouse is not included and that actually turned out to be the most difficult, yet most rewarding, part of the game. Do you know how hard it is to catch a mouse with a plastic trap and a bunch of building bricks?  Pretty hard. The sense of accomplishment that my children achieved was worth all of the rabies shots in the world.

The U-Build spin on an already fun game pays off. It’s like two games in one: the building game where my kids fight and scream over how the board will look and the Mouse Trap game where my kids fight and scream over the first aid kit.  Of course, neither of those last two sentences are true. However, the part about it being two games in one is an actual fact based on my opinion as well as those of the people at Hasbro, and they’re right.

If U-Build it the fun will come. Also, rodents.

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The Idle Parent by  author Tom Hodgkinson looks like a nice book. It has a reddish-orange cover that I’m tempted to call a burnt sienna, but it could be the light in here — or the 4 months of dust that the book has accumulated. This is not the fault of the book or Mr. Hodgkinson, who also wrote How to Be Idle and The Freedom Manifesto.  No, it is the fault of time and my lack of it.

The book is subtitled, “Why Laid-back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids,” which is a statement I’m inclined to agree with.  The kids on the cover look happy enough and their dad is totally napping on the couch. And he’s wearing Vans.  If that doesn’t scream laid-back then I don’t know what does.

I think the book weighs about a pound and a half. Give or take. It has 251 pages.

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I really dropped the ball on a review that I was supposed to write for All About Beer Magazine and my fellow DadCentricite, Greg, by losing a copy of a book they sent me called Beer Across Texas. Here’s the thing, Texas is huge and the book isn’t, which leads me to believe that the authors only discussed the good beers across Texas and not every crappy can of suds they came upon.  In the industry we call this attention to “quality” and we like it. My most sincere apologies to All About Beer, Greg and the authors of Beer Across Texas. Also, smaller books are apparently easier to lose.

Seriously, I can’t find it anywhere.

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Candlewick Press was kind enough to send a collection of summer reading over for my boys. The titles include:

It’s Vacation Time by Lerryn Korda, which is a really cute book that my 4-year-old loves. It’s about, wait for it, vacation time! The story is big on using your imagination and we’re big on that.

Maisy Goes to the Museum by Lucy Cousins is about Maisy the mouse and frankly, I can’t read it without hearing the narrators voice from the TV show. And what’s up with Charley?
But I digress. This book is for preschool kids and my preschool kid thinks it’s great and he doesn’t care how many times Charley has been dropped on his head.

Flanimals Pop-Up, which was written by Ricky Gervais, yes, that Ricky Gervais, and illustrated by Rob Steen. With a name like Flanimals Pop-Up, it’s exactly what you’d expect, but with a writer like Ricky Gervais it’s like nothing you could ever imagine. Within reason. It’s good fun.

Judy Moody’s Way Wacky Uber Awesome Book of More Fun Stuff to Do, The Oceanology Handbook – A Course For Underwater Explorers and Show Off – How to Do Absolutely Everything are big hits with my 7-year-old for all the reasons clearly stated in each book’s respective title. He likes wacky, uber, awesome, underwater exploring and doing absolutely everything. It’s like they were made for him.

Where’s Waldo? The Ultimate Travel Collection by Martin Handford is billed as the essential travel companion, and after it kept my kids quiet on an airplane for two hours I’m inclined to agree.

I still don’t know where Waldo is, but I think he stole my beer book.

All of the Candlewick Press books listed above have been big hits with my kids and for that I’m thankful. Thanks, Candlewick Press!

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And now for something completely different.

Scholastic sent me two new books, Max Spaniel: Funny Lunch and Firehouse! that my boys love.

They’re both about dogs and they are loads of fun. I’m supposed to write a review on them, but I don’t want to spoil the plot(s). Besides, this post is already longer than both books combined.

Here’s the fun part, I’m giving away 3 sets of the books! Yes, now you can own your very own copies of these entertaining books and all you have to do to win is leave a comment stating that you would like the books! I’ll send the books to three(3) random entries. The contest is only open to residents of the U.S. and P.O. boxes are not allowed. My apologies to other countries and anyone that rents a mailbox.

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And on that note, my pile of items to review is gone! Literally, I’ve been moving each item out of my office as I go and whoa, carpet!

Please note, I really do appreciate the items sent to me for review (which are all of the items listed in this post) and I wouldn’t include them here if I didn’t think people would enjoy them.  Stuff that sucks doesn’t make the page, man. Honea don’t play that.

Peace out.

Seriously? Drawing? Star Wars? The video with the noise and the force and the I. WANT. THAT. Well, you got it, kid. Also, you’re all clear.

It’s Draw Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Atticus is beside himself. Zane would also enjoy it if his brother let him anywhere near it. This is something that will never happen. Ever.

Here’s a rundown of what’s inside (via Klutz) – … filled with tips, techniques, practice space, and translucent overlays to make you a master of drawing. Start with stick figures, move onto basic shapes, and finish up with the details. Use the included double-tipped metallic-colored pencils and black marker to make 20 Clone Wars characters come to life.

Here’s the part where you come in. I’m giving away five (5) of these bad boys. Just in time for whatever you do in December! Also, birthdays!

The contest is open to anyone in the United States with a mailbox. Everyone knows that only the dark side uses P.O. Boxes or lives outside of America. These rules are set by the PR company that is supplying the prize. If you live in a galaxy far, far away you can always have the prize sent to an American friend and work out the shipping from there. I know, it’s not easy, but do you think blowing up the Death Star, twice, was easy? There is no try. Do. And all that.

To enter: Leave a comment with your favorite Star Wars story. It can be something from the movies, books, comics, rides or your life. Keep it short, people. On December 1st I will announce the winners, which will be picked at random.

May the force be with you. Always.

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Behind the curtain of the great and powerful Whit:

Compensation: No
Products Received: 1copy of “Draw Star Wars: The Clone Wars” for review. Prize copies will be sent from PR contact.

This post is a hybrid. Perhaps it is the first of its kind. Perhaps it is an epic fail or the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We’ll play it by ear.

My inbox runneth over with opportunity. It used to be that I would receive the occasional offer for male enhancement and perhaps a letter or two from my dearest, lord bless their soul, Nigerians who wish the weather in my atmosphere well and please to help with teh money, but that was about it. I rarely heard from anyone in the world of public relations. When I did it was a moment of zenish “I’m somebody!” But like Navin R. Johnson before me, I have found that success carries with it a price. That price is my soul. Also, your time.

In other news, I was tagged for a meme. So there’s that.

Everybody’s favorite messiah on ice, Mr. Black Hockey Jesus, was kind enough to tag me with a meme. Sure, we’ll go with kind. The meme is below. The PR stuff is integrated. Don’t worry, you won’t notice it AT ALL.

WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT OBSESSIONS?

I’m currently obsessed with breathing. Seriously. I cannot get enough of it. I’m even breathing in my sleep.

Speaking of obsession, that’s still my favorite Calvin Klein stink. It smells like summer and lust. Reminds me of my teenage years when my biggest problems were acne and the wooing of women, but mostly neither of those.

WHO GAVE YOU THE BEST ORAL SEX OF YOUR LIFE?

This is something that James T. Kirk and I have in common, although I thought it was great and he thought it was tribble. I met her at Wanderlust during the Spoon set. She’s from Canada. You don’t know her.

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

I’m on a strict whatever my wife makes diet. Wednesday night is Fillet Mignon or sometimes cereal. The dogs are having Dogswell brand dog food as part of a the bow-wow bailout and a nutritional breakfast. The cats are having whatever they catch.

In other news, anyone want a cat? Seriously. I’ll ship.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR AT THE MOMENT?

I’m a little nervous that we’ll lose the Battle for Terra. And swine flu.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Gipsy Kings and sighs of discontent. Some kid rock is on deck, that’s rock for kids not the country/rap redneck.

IF YOU WERE A GOD/GODDESS, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?

Is this a trick question? I’d be a god. Duh. Probably the one you worship. Sacrifice or big, hot mountain go boom, bitches.

And if the false gods of science are more your thing…

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY SPOTS?

Directly under the mistletoe. I spend every Easter there. At Christmas I go to Easter Island of Misfit Toys.

My favorite Mother’s Day spot is Jackman’s Flowers who are currently celebrating 100 years in the biz. Enter the code “honea15″ and save 15% – nobody loves a deal like Mom!

WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW?

Funny timing on this one as the next group of PR emails are all publishers and authors wanting me to give away and/or review books. I might read some of them. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I’m not reading anything – despite the 10+ books on my nightstand in various stages of completion. I’m too busy writing (IOUs and bad checks).

WHAT ARE FOUR WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU?

Tall. Scented. Sell-out.

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?

I live guilt-free. Also, oblivious. For the record, I’ve never been convicted.

WHO OR WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Usually something pretty funny, like comedians or the misfortune of others. NOT DANE COOK.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPRING THING TO DO?

Spending hours of my valuable time on memes, taking long walks on the beach and collecting memories like so many ladybugs.

WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO TRAVEL NEXT?

I’ve got a full itinerary this summer: Tucson, Chicago, L.A. (I’ll live elsewhere by then), and possibly Africa. I use UpTake for all my travel needs and so can you!

WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU ATE OR DRANK LATELY?

My wife made some tasty enchiladas the other night. The beer was good, too.

Yes, I’m out of links.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TIPSY?

At Gatsby’s party. It was great.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE EVER MOVIE?

Man, I can’t pick just one. My favorites include: Star Wars, Cool Hand Luke, Princess Bride, Iron Giant, Il Postino, Pale Rider, Shawshank Redemption, When Harry Met Sally, Peter Pan, and anything with porn.

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIFE LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED FROM YOUR KIDS?

This should cover it.

WHAT SONG CAN’T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?

I really love this one. What can I say, I’m a softy.

Thanks for playing!

It is snowing. It has been snowing steadily for over 4 6 9 12 hours at the time of this writing (I had video issues). There is at least three five inches of snow on the ground. For the record, I live in a desert about 45 minutes from Hollywood.

Hey, we’ll take it.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Or perhaps you’ve been equally busy and haven’t noticed that I haven’t posted in a week, which is actually a month in blog years. The truth is, I’ve been here at home, but I’ve been working 15 hour days to allow myself some quality time around Christmas. And then there’s the drinking…

Plus, Atticus has been home from school for winter break and the two boys are driving me out of my mind. They’re dangerously close to getting lumps of coal in their stockings- or worse.

We did go to Disneyland for a couple of days to take in the holiday sights. It was crazy cold and incredibly packed. Sardines have elbow room compared to the crowds we swam against. Our paths crossed one night with that of the PetCobra family and together we drank some beers and watched our children bond over unhealthy amounts of sugar and excitement. It was like this, but louder and with bees. Good fun.

We’ve also been doing stuff like this:

Can you guess which one I made?

What?

You may recall that there is drawing of sorts going on today. I am giving away five copies each of the books listed in the previous post. For some reason nobody wanted the Ted Turner book, but five of you won it. Letterman said it was a good read, so there’s that.

If you are one of the lucky winners please email me your mailing address (no P.O. boxes per the publisher) and I’ll get your book sent to you. Hopefully they’ll arrive before Christmas if you’re regifting Ted.

(BTW, I have spent literally all day trying to upload a damn video with the snow and the kids and the tree and the drawing of the names and the boys making fun of the names, but it isn’t working. I refuse to let this ruin my Christmas.)

Outliers: Apathy Lounge, Bridge, Father Muskrat, Moe Berg and VegasDad!

Ted: Flutter, Hygiene Dad, Mocha Dad, Rattling the Kettle and Willie G!

Those of you that didn’t win, don’t worry. I’ll be giving away some other books soon! I’ve also been asked to review adult films and products. How do you think that would go over? It takes me a week of 15 minute increments to watch a porno.

On another note, if you haven’t done so please visit UpTake. Add us to your RSS if you’re feeling it. That would be downright decent of you.

Until next time…

Do you like books? Sure you do. Obviously you are extremely intelligent and literate or you wouldn’t be here. You’re probably good-looking, too. Then again you could be here for the nude Hugh Jackmans- that’s been a Google goldmine.

I have two more books to give away. These are the real deal, not some crap you find in the dollar bin, but brand new, best-selling books by important people you’ve heard of- assuming you’re as intelligent and literate as you claim to be (see paragraph 1).

Yes, I am a kind and caring blogger. However, I’m also spiteful and will be limiting winners to U.S. and Canadian entries (no P.O. boxes) only. Sorry, it isn’t personal. It’s the publishers. Apparently they don’t think the rest of the world can read so good.

Here’s how you can win: Enter. Leave a comment that says which book you are interested in, say why if you have time. Butter me up if you’re feeling it. I’m easy.

On the 17th I will draw 5 winners per book at random- or less than random if your butter spreads right.

Need gift ideas? Check out these great holiday gift guides and giveaways. Yes, more giving:

Babble

Savvy Source

The Father Life

Divine Caroline