Honea Express

Archive for the ‘Comments’ Category

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

I rolled the virtual dice and three came up. Everybody drink.

Three was assigned to the third comment, meaning the winner is Laughing Mouse, soon to be Full Mouse and possibly Sugar Buzz Mouse.

I need to hear from you by noon (PST) on Monday (2/8)!

Thanks to all of the romantics that entered the contest. Your love makes my notebook pale by comparison.

Also, thank you to See’s Candy and Clever Girls Collective for making the chocolate happen.

Where does one start a love story? Does it begin across a crowded room on an enchanted evening beneath a layer of warm whiskey and the sudden knowing that nothing will ever be the same again? Or did it begin years ago in a field overgrown with wildflowers and hands swaying in singsong fashion as the meadow gave way to memories and the most beautiful thing you have ever seen was the way the sun glowed upon her skin?

Where does it start and where does it go and how many pages need turn before one is living in the happily ever after?

Me? My story is your classic boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl marries some soldier, boy fixes up old house, boy gets picture in paper, girl comes back, girl leaves soldier, boy reads to girl, flock of birds fly away type of thing. It was pretty romantic. They made it into a movie.

And it goes great with chocolate.

This is where you come in. The good people at See’s Candies and Clever Girls Collective want to help you out with the pinnacle of romance: Valentine’s Day. Yes, you can win some chocolate — a See’s Candies Red Signature Box — that’s two pounds of delicious chocolate, which the winner, that could be you, will receive in time for Valentine’s Day! We want to hear your sweetest love story, hence the “Share Your Sweetest Love Story” contest. Leave your story – or a link to it, in the comments below and a winner will be picked at random after the contest ends – 11:59 PM on the night of Feb. 5th. It needs to end before midnight due to the whole pumpkin thing – but that’s another love story.

Wait, that’s not all!

Extra Ways to Enter

Do you really, really want to win? Here are some opportunities for
extra entries, in addition to your comment with your Sweetest Love Story:

1) Visit the See’s homepage and sign up for the newsletter

2) Tweet about this contest using the #seescandy tag (you can Tweet daily and post the link in the comments below!)

3) Blog about why you want to win the Share Your Sweetest Love Story with links back to this post, as well as to See’s and post the link it in the comments below.

Enter Now! Deadline for entries is midnight, PST, Friday, February 5th and we will notify you by email.

Did you get all that? Enter on my blog and one winner will be chosen. Also, enter via the ways outlined above for additional chances!

Behind the curtain:
Compensation received for post – $50 Visa gift card & a Red Signature Box of See’s Candies (Yum!)

February 1st marked four years of Honea Express. I understand if you forgot.

You learn a lot by blogging for four years in one place. You see the world go by. You watch people come and go and sometimes come again. You see yourself reach new heights and lose yourself in awkward lows. Sometimes people laugh, sometimes they cry, and sometimes they get angry and call you names. It’s all par for the course. Sometimes it’s rough and sometimes you land on the green, and sometimes that damn windmill hits your ball back all the way to the beginning. Stupid golf.

I’ve covered everything and nothing. I’ve nearly quit this thing more times than I can count. I’ve met people I consider friends, even though we’ve never shared a beer or an embrace. I’ve been lucky enough to have friendships fall off the page and into my living room and see memories reappear in my comments.

I’ve learned a bit about myself: I’m sarcastic to a fault and passionate without apology. These are things I’ve always suspected, but finally learned to accept when aired before the masses. I’m okay with it.

My family has been supportive and often confused. My wife has been patient and my boys have been boys.

I don’t know where this thing is going or how long the journey will take, but from the bottom of my heart I thank each and every one of you that has been along for the ride.

I’m registered at Crate and Barrel and iTunes.

It is snowing. It has been snowing steadily for over 4 6 9 12 hours at the time of this writing (I had video issues). There is at least three five inches of snow on the ground. For the record, I live in a desert about 45 minutes from Hollywood.

Hey, we’ll take it.

Perhaps you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Or perhaps you’ve been equally busy and haven’t noticed that I haven’t posted in a week, which is actually a month in blog years. The truth is, I’ve been here at home, but I’ve been working 15 hour days to allow myself some quality time around Christmas. And then there’s the drinking…

Plus, Atticus has been home from school for winter break and the two boys are driving me out of my mind. They’re dangerously close to getting lumps of coal in their stockings- or worse.

We did go to Disneyland for a couple of days to take in the holiday sights. It was crazy cold and incredibly packed. Sardines have elbow room compared to the crowds we swam against. Our paths crossed one night with that of the PetCobra family and together we drank some beers and watched our children bond over unhealthy amounts of sugar and excitement. It was like this, but louder and with bees. Good fun.

We’ve also been doing stuff like this:

Can you guess which one I made?

What?

You may recall that there is drawing of sorts going on today. I am giving away five copies each of the books listed in the previous post. For some reason nobody wanted the Ted Turner book, but five of you won it. Letterman said it was a good read, so there’s that.

If you are one of the lucky winners please email me your mailing address (no P.O. boxes per the publisher) and I’ll get your book sent to you. Hopefully they’ll arrive before Christmas if you’re regifting Ted.

(BTW, I have spent literally all day trying to upload a damn video with the snow and the kids and the tree and the drawing of the names and the boys making fun of the names, but it isn’t working. I refuse to let this ruin my Christmas.)

Outliers: Apathy Lounge, Bridge, Father Muskrat, Moe Berg and VegasDad!

Ted: Flutter, Hygiene Dad, Mocha Dad, Rattling the Kettle and Willie G!

Those of you that didn’t win, don’t worry. I’ll be giving away some other books soon! I’ve also been asked to review adult films and products. How do you think that would go over? It takes me a week of 15 minute increments to watch a porno.

On another note, if you haven’t done so please visit UpTake. Add us to your RSS if you’re feeling it. That would be downright decent of you.

Until next time…

Seventeen of you lovely people put your name in the proverbial ring for a chance at winning the Didi Pop CD. We have a winner…

But first, I wanted to share my favorite song from the album. There wasn’t a video on Didi’s site for “Dream,” so I made one. Well, I made a slideshow with pictures of my kids sleeping, so what? It still took time.

The winner, picked at random by one snotty, sick little boy is Hetha. Congratulations!

I participated in my first Wordless Wednesday today. It’s a picture taken at The Grove shopping center a few Christmasesesss winters ago. I’ve always liked the photo, even if it was taken on my old phone.

Rich asked about seasonal beers. Here’s what you need to know.

This guy is a friend of House of Prince, and he’s awesome.

Click on this so I can make my traffic bonus!

Did you read about Atticus trying to burn the house down?

ANOTHER CONTEST!

I have four copies of Drew Magary’s very funny book Men with Balls to give away. I had all kinds of funny to do with this, but DC Urban Dad just ran like crazy with his contest and now I feel inadequate (just in the contest area).

“Drew Magary is the co-founder of the website Kissing Suzy Kobler and a columnist for Deadspin” – I stole that shit straight from DC Urban Dad. I didn’t even pretend to change the words around.

The book is funny. Very funny. I was supposed to give away five copies but last night my neighbor yelled over the fence that it was his birthday and invited me over for cake. I threw a bow on my copy of the book and made an insta-gift. Now I wants mine. Yes, I said I wants it. That should show you just how funny it is.

If you want to win a copy leave another word for “balls” in the comments. You can’t use a term if someone else already has. The four funniest/most original will win. Enter often, win once.

MORE GIFT IDEAS!

Remember when I mentioned the Little Tikes Pop Tunes Guitar? Little Tikes was kind enough to send me the rest of the band:

The Pop Tunes Drums and Pop Tunes Keyboard, both work on their own or with preset songs and while Atticus (he’s 5) says they’re too “small” for him that didn’t stop him from playing on the instruments the entire time. Zane (2) thought they were fantastic despite his being sick. They kicked me out of the band during the second encore of Free Bird, which is a bunch of bunk if you ask me.

Now the entire band set is drying in the bathroom due to the dozen coats of Lysol I sprayed on them (Lysol did not provide product). Zane’s germs scare me.

Here’s my disclaimer on product reviews: If someone sends me something to review and I like it then I will gladly write about it. If I don’t like the product I’ll return it, and depending on why we didn’t like it I may or may not write that as well. Basically, if we didn’t like it because it was too advanced or something that isn’t necessarily negative I won’t write it up, but if we didn’t like it because it was made from lead and chopped off the cat’s toe then I’ll tell you all about it. I do it because I care.

That’s it for this edition of cup o’random! And now for the catchphrase:

It put the other random in a cup guys out of business!

The following is a section that was cut from my previous post. It didn’t feel like it fit the vibe. Now it’s just extra words without love or home. Rather than toss it I thought I’d share it with you, the reader(s), and put the fate of the words in your hands. In 100 words or less finish this scene. There may be a CD mix in it for a few of you. Okay, have fun:

I forgot my pajamas. Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, but the mother-in-law was sharing the room and I didn’t feel my man-thong would be appropriate. I had worn my shorts all day and would be wearing them again in the morning. They were caked with sweat and blood and needed a night to air out.

I wore my wife’s short shorts. SHORT shorts. Like Nair commercial short. I looked like Richard Simmons with a penis.

You owe me five bucks for that image.

Luckily it was the weekend of the half-marathon, so even though I had missed the deadline to register I still got to wander around the grounds with more man thigh exposed than the NBA, circa 1982. It was like athletic. People thought I was Larry Bird when I walked in.

The sidewalks were empty but for the occasional drunk, the guy I used to be, but with better pants.

The air was cool and the draft against my legs was six inches above my tan line. I wore my wallet like a cup…