Honea Express

Archive for the ‘meme’ Category

This post is a hybrid. Perhaps it is the first of its kind. Perhaps it is an epic fail or the beginning of a beautiful friendship. We’ll play it by ear.

My inbox runneth over with opportunity. It used to be that I would receive the occasional offer for male enhancement and perhaps a letter or two from my dearest, lord bless their soul, Nigerians who wish the weather in my atmosphere well and please to help with teh money, but that was about it. I rarely heard from anyone in the world of public relations. When I did it was a moment of zenish “I’m somebody!” But like Navin R. Johnson before me, I have found that success carries with it a price. That price is my soul. Also, your time.

In other news, I was tagged for a meme. So there’s that.

Everybody’s favorite messiah on ice, Mr. Black Hockey Jesus, was kind enough to tag me with a meme. Sure, we’ll go with kind. The meme is below. The PR stuff is integrated. Don’t worry, you won’t notice it AT ALL.

WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT OBSESSIONS?

I’m currently obsessed with breathing. Seriously. I cannot get enough of it. I’m even breathing in my sleep.

Speaking of obsession, that’s still my favorite Calvin Klein stink. It smells like summer and lust. Reminds me of my teenage years when my biggest problems were acne and the wooing of women, but mostly neither of those.

WHO GAVE YOU THE BEST ORAL SEX OF YOUR LIFE?

This is something that James T. Kirk and I have in common, although I thought it was great and he thought it was tribble. I met her at Wanderlust during the Spoon set. She’s from Canada. You don’t know her.

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

I’m on a strict whatever my wife makes diet. Wednesday night is Fillet Mignon or sometimes cereal. The dogs are having Dogswell brand dog food as part of a the bow-wow bailout and a nutritional breakfast. The cats are having whatever they catch.

In other news, anyone want a cat? Seriously. I’ll ship.

WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR AT THE MOMENT?

I’m a little nervous that we’ll lose the Battle for Terra. And swine flu.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Gipsy Kings and sighs of discontent. Some kid rock is on deck, that’s rock for kids not the country/rap redneck.

IF YOU WERE A GOD/GODDESS, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?

Is this a trick question? I’d be a god. Duh. Probably the one you worship. Sacrifice or big, hot mountain go boom, bitches.

And if the false gods of science are more your thing…

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HOLIDAY SPOTS?

Directly under the mistletoe. I spend every Easter there. At Christmas I go to Easter Island of Misfit Toys.

My favorite Mother’s Day spot is Jackman’s Flowers who are currently celebrating 100 years in the biz. Enter the code “honea15″ and save 15% – nobody loves a deal like Mom!

WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW?

Funny timing on this one as the next group of PR emails are all publishers and authors wanting me to give away and/or review books. I might read some of them. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, I’m not reading anything – despite the 10+ books on my nightstand in various stages of completion. I’m too busy writing (IOUs and bad checks).

WHAT ARE FOUR WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOU?

Tall. Scented. Sell-out.

WHAT IS YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?

I live guilt-free. Also, oblivious. For the record, I’ve never been convicted.

WHO OR WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Usually something pretty funny, like comedians or the misfortune of others. NOT DANE COOK.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPRING THING TO DO?

Spending hours of my valuable time on memes, taking long walks on the beach and collecting memories like so many ladybugs.

WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING TO TRAVEL NEXT?

I’ve got a full itinerary this summer: Tucson, Chicago, L.A. (I’ll live elsewhere by then), and possibly Africa. I use UpTake for all my travel needs and so can you!

WHAT IS THE BEST THING YOU ATE OR DRANK LATELY?

My wife made some tasty enchiladas the other night. The beer was good, too.

Yes, I’m out of links.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TIPSY?

At Gatsby’s party. It was great.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE EVER MOVIE?

Man, I can’t pick just one. My favorites include: Star Wars, Cool Hand Luke, Princess Bride, Iron Giant, Il Postino, Pale Rider, Shawshank Redemption, When Harry Met Sally, Peter Pan, and anything with porn.

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIFE LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED FROM YOUR KIDS?

This should cover it.

WHAT SONG CAN’T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?

I really love this one. What can I say, I’m a softy.

Thanks for playing!

Despite my best efforts people still ask me to guest post. Perhaps they want their readers to appreciate them more. I can see that.

Irregardless, wait, I’m not even sure how to use that in a sentence.

Today I’m over at Attack of the Redneck Mommy talking about a pivotal moment in my life. It’s something I mentioned here before, but in far less detail. Besides, I talked about it nearly two years ago and I’m obviously still scarred (nothing to do with Redneck Mommy’s nudity). I felt it was time to get it off my chest… and arms, and face, but mostly out of my mouth.

Also, it’s not too late to see me stink it up at these fine blogs:

A Family Runs Through It
SecondHand Tryptophan
All That Comes With It
Rattling the Kettle (nudity)
Snackie’s World
Childs Play x2

I think that is all of them. If I wrote one for you and it isn’t on here that is because it was so embarrassingly crappy that I’ve blocked it from my mind. Don’t worry, you have company. Also, I have one more guest post lined up soon, assuming I get off my ass. You’ve been warned.

Man, speaking of me writing crap, how long is this post?

Let me salvage it by adding a meme that Mitch McDad tagged me with a couple of weeks ago and has since been sitting open on my desktop, The Shy Game:

Basically, it is a game in which we network the blogiverse. I’m supposed to list and link 5 blogs I know well, and then five that I don’t. Mitch did it the right way, but I’m going to mix it up a bit (i.e., the wrong way).

The blogs listed and linked above, those are the five (or seven as the case may be) blogs that fulfill the first requirement, and for the latter I’ll list a handful of people that have commented here recently that were new to me. How ‘s that? Deal with it.

Here they are, in random order:

Writer Dad
From Nat’s Brain
the Goat and Tater
slicksumbich
Magneto Bold Too

Check everyone out, tell them their future guest poster sent you!

I was feeling a bit blocked the other day. No, the pipes are fine, I maintain a solid (usually) two-a-day (increase by one for every 3 beers consumed). The blockage was a mental one.

I wouldn’t say that I was suffering from writer’s block, because I had ideas- they were just more of the same. I think the tone of my posts lately have all been similar and I’m a guy that likes to mix it up. That’s what makes me Kick Ass (at least in DC Urban Dad‘s opinion, which is the only one that matters now).

See? When’s the last time anyone else said something nice about me behind my back? That’s what I thought.

You know the rules. I’m supposed to pass on the honor to 5 deserving bloggers, which is usually quite hard as we’re all winners here, but today it’s a little easier. I’m going with the plumbers.

They came to fix the sink.

I was blocked, as I mentioned, and per usual when I find myself in times of trouble mother (and daddy) bloggers come to me. Words of wisdom and all that. I opened up in a heartfelt 140 characters or less and the four bloggers pictured above helped a brother out. With Twitter you’re never alone, but you’re often with a whale.

My 5 kick ass bloggers are:

Ed from Zoe’s Dad. Don’t let the title fool you, Ed has more than one kid (14 kids under the age of three or something like that), but Zoe is apparently his favorite.

Stefania from City Mama. Once upon a time she was my boss and as such she would fill my IM box with random links to internet greatness ( sometimes work-related). She pretty much ignores me now EXCEPT WHEN I REALLY NEEDED HER.

Matthew from ChildsPlayx2. Matthew goes on my short list of all-time bloggers, and that has nothing to do with his drinking beer with me on several occasions.

Brandon from Down With Pants! I met Brandon at the first, now infamous (that’s more than famous), L.A. blogger party. He has since moved back to Washington and I have hope of seeing him some day at a Seattle blogger party. The sooner the better.

My 5th plumber/kick ass blogger goes to Mitch of Mitch McDad’s World who hit me with an interesting meme/game that I plan on posting in the next day or two. Mitch was too shy to help me on Twitter and most likely didn’t even read my tweet. That’s okay. I’ll take what I can get.

Damn, this post got away from me. I was going to honor their suggestions here, but I think I’ll save them for the next(ish) post. Stay tuned true-believers!

In case you haven’t heard there is an interview movement going on over at Neil’s blog, Citizen of the Month. It’s supposed to make everyone feel special. Special feels good.

It’s a pretty neat system and all the cool kids are doing it. I’m also doing it. I was lucky enough to get Annika for my interview. Her blog is Through the Looking Glass. Damn, I didn’t ask her one question about Alice or mushrooms. Maybe next time.

Here are my boring questions and Annika’s interesting answers. Read, learn, enjoy, visit.

1. You’ve had your blog for over 5 years. That is B.C. in the blog time line. What inspired you to start blogging?

My BFF started blogging before I did and I wanted to be just like her. Actually, I was sort of blogging in 2001, when I would manually update the front page of a now-defunct free website I maintained. I started on Blogspot in 2002. Katherine was definitely my biggest inspiration at that point.

2. Since starting your blog you have become a mother and a knitter, do you consider yourself a ‘mommy blogger,’ a ‘craft blogger,’ or are you a hybrid of sorts?

I don’t think my blog fits into any easy category. My mom described it as an Annika blog, which I think is a nice way to describe it.

It’s funny — there are several guides out there on starting a blog (most are aimed at people who want to make money and get famous by blogging, I think) and the ones I’ve glanced at all say that you have to have a specific focus. I never have, and while I am hardly Dooce I think I am doing just fine. I have awesome readers who don’t seem to mind my randomness. Five years ago I wrote about funny conversations I had with my boyfriend. I still do, but he’s my husband now. Yes, I write a lot about my kid, but that’s because he is the biggest focus in my life right now. And I write about my knitting projects because I am consistently amazed that I am able to finish anything, ever. But I also write about all sorts of other things.

3. You write screenplays with your husband. How did this come about?

When we met he wanted to be a screenwriter. I wrote short stories and had worked in film briefly, but didn’t really want to write movies. That was ten years ago, and in that time our goals evolved because we had so many ideas for projects we wanted to develop together. We tried writing together a few times and never were able to work together well. Then after our son was born Will left his job as a film exec and took a few months to write. He completed a draft of a script and I loved it. Eventually we decided that we’d work on the second draft together, and suddenly it clicked. We found our writing style and the process that gets us from an idea to a draft.

4. You mentioned that you are working on a proposal for a craft book- can you give us a quick pitch?

Knitted and sewn projects all for boys, with 100% less sailboats.

5. We were talking about LOST and how you don’t watch it. Do you have any idea what you are missing?

I do, actually! I saw “Special” and was bored senseless. And I know, I saw it out of order, blah blah blah, but I firmly believe that a television show is not worth much if you can’t enjoy it out of context. That is probably a little unfair of me, but I’ve got so little time to watch television/movies that I am very picky.

6. What do you mean when you say ‘extended breastfeeding?’

Well, the average modern American mom seems to nurse for three to six months, if at all (that is not a real statistic, just my observation). My son is 20 months old and we’re not quitting any time soon (though I am trying to get him to cut it out at night so I can sleep). I actually hate the word “extended” because I think it is totally normal and natural to nurse for 3-4 years or until the child is ready to stop, and because the international health standard is to breastfeed for a minimum of two years. But in the U.S. it is unusual, and I don’t have a better word to describe it.

7. You are planning to homeschool- what made you decide to do so?

Lack of faith in school as an institution. I don’t think that modern education is a good fit with the way that children naturally learn. I was home/unschooled and went to school (not at the same time, obviously) and in my experience school is not very educational.

8. How do you take your coffee?

Mmmm, coffee. I take it with cream. I also drink from a small cup so that it stays hot and so that I can drink a whole cup before my son distracts me. It’s a silly psychological trick and I am totally onto myself, but it really works.

Thanks, Annika!

Bill over at Make It a Double has tagged me with what appears to be the longest meme ever devised by devious minds. The concept is pretty self-explanatory. I need to share. I’ll do my best.