Archive for the ‘Musicals’ Category
Today is December 1, 2011 and according to the Mayans, the mustache has ended. This is good news.
Mustaches and my face do not get along. In fact, the only thing that looks worse on my face is a fist (or whatever dirty joke you just came up with). I actually wrote a musical about the experience of growing a mustache for charity and how torn I was about the process. On one lip, I was thrilled to raise money and awareness for Movember and the fight against prostate and testicular cancers — our Dad2.0 team raised over $19,000, and the good people at Philips Norelco are matching $15,000 of that thanks to a series of shaving videos that many of us have made. I would also like to add that Baby Showers for Guys is donating $500 to the team (which includes many of the DadCentric guys!) in the name of their contest winner (which appears to be me!). That’s roughly $35,000 to cancer research just by not shaving. If only all good causes were this lazy, we could find cures for everything!
But the bottom lip is, I look like a real creep with a mustache. Even more than usual.
My wife hated it. It put her on edge and made her meaner than normal. She just assumed I had nothing nice to say.
My kids hated it. They said that it was sharp and itchy. They had no idea.
Society hated it. I couldn’t walk across the school parking lot without people throwing cabbage and pitchforks at me. In other news, my cabbage and pitchfork resale business is doing great.
You’ll catch part of the aforementioned abandoned musical in the clip below. The line was, “I look like I live in my mother’s basement, but that will soon change with this product placement.” And then the Philips Norelco SensoTouch 3D (Model 1250XCC), the Jet Clean system, and the Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer would all get up and dance. It just wasn’t in the budget.
Here is the shaving video I made for Philips Norelco:
I will never shave the second mustache. That one isn’t creepy at all.
And now, a rare photo of me without facial hair:
I must admit, I swore off electric razors a long time ago, but the Norelco worked like a champ. It’s nice to work with products you can believe in. I’m looking at you, my phone service provider.
In case you are concerned that my freshly-shorn lip may catch cold this winter, don’t worry, I’m growing a dogstache. It’s really quite warm:
Thank you to all that participated, donated and restrained themselves from calling the authorities during the Movember campaign. Here’s to hitting cancer where it taint, once and for all.
Disclosure: The Philips Norelco products mentioned in this post were provided for free in exchange for the shaving video embedded above. I would like to thank Philips Norelco for the shaving system and their generous contribution to our Movember team.
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I knew a man in the military. He was an Admiral. His name was Hills. He loved a good tune. You might say that Admiral Hills was alive with the sound of music. He loved art and he worked mostly in oils and Garfunkle. His presence was a thousand glasses toasted and his absence whispered in the sounds of silence. He rose above the world like a bridge over troubled water. Some people loved him like a rock.
I haven’t seen the man in over 40 years. I thought about sending him a message in a bottle — an SOS, but my bottles are full of ships and beer and sink heavy when empty. I’ve thought about taking a trip to wherever he lives — an ultimate vacation of old friends and their families. But where would I go? What would I do? What family members would I bring along?
I don’t know.
I could climb every mountain, search high and low. Would I find him in Belize, floating in a warm sea and sipping drinks made with exotic fruit and sweat-laced liquor? Would I search for him in Switzerland, skiing the Alps and being more or less neutral about all of it? They are so many silver white winters and so much melting into spring.
I could follow every highway, every path I know.
Any of these places would be perfect for a man and his wife, two boys and their dogs. Admiral Hills was a man of good cheer, and he always said that a family vacation is in the dreams and the plans, and the journey of maybe getting there. We should all pack accordingly.
We’ll get there someday.
Don’t forget to enter the “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, for a chance to win your own ultimate family vacation. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.
It’s West Side Story all over again, but not quite as gay. Yes, it’s Prop 8: The Musical and it has everything you could want in a song and dance number. There’s hate and ignorance for the haters and the ignorant. There are celebrities and causes for celebrities that cause stuff. There is even a cameo by Jesus.
It’s Prop 8: The Musical and it’s hilarious:
If my marriage was Menudo, the band, not the “food,” then I would have traded my wife in some time ago- they replaced their members when they turned 25ish. As it is, I actually picked Tricia up about the time she was 25. She was on the shelf right next to Ricky Martin, and frankly she looked better in a skirt (not that Ricky looked bad).
That was a decade ago. Yesterday she hit her stride. She turned 35. I know, you’re not supposed to talk about a woman’s age, but she looks good. Word is that a woman comes into her sexual prime about this point. Crap, I don’t get enough sleep as it is.
How did we spend her birthday? With Mexican food (not menudo), Camp Rock and a couple spins of the latest Weezer album. She called the action and it was non-existent. A nice, lazy day. Perfect for birthdays and old people.
Happy Birthday, Tricia.