Honea Express

Posts Tagged ‘Books’

This is going to be a long one. No, that’s not what she said. It was me. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, people.

Anyway, what I’m trying to type is that it is once again time to clean out the ol’ review closet. That means you’re all winners. Except there isn’t a giveaway. Remember, someone famous once said, “I’ll only review stuff that is worth reviewing,” and I said it on this very blog. What does that mean to you, the winners? I’m glad I pretended that you asked, because the following items are things that either I, or a member of my family, enjoyed, and as such we believe that you, or a member of your family, would also enjoy them. It’s all about the giving.

She did say that one.

Now, stuff:

Did you know that Duran Duran is touring in support of a new album? The record is called All You Need is Now, and OH. MY. GOD. that is so true. The new stuff is actually really good, but a recent show in L.A. proved that the old stuff holds up pretty well, too.

Also holding up well? Duran Duran. Seriously, the guys look better than they did when I was a kid (at which time they were also kids). It was like watching Brad Pitt and the Cloonettes up there (which, by the way, should totally be a band).

If you get a chance to see Duran Duran in concert you should do it. Tell them I sent you, I’m sure they’ll remember me. On a side note, don’t yell, “Rio!” over and over. They’ll get to it.

When I opened the Freaky Pets box I knew I was in trouble. There was one cute little toy in there, just chillin’, and two cute little boys behind me, not chillin’. I braced myself for the fight.

Luckily, my children tend to surprise me from time to time, and this was one of them. They actually shared the Freaky Pet, which is a plush creature that turns inside out — yes, inside out, and goes from cute to “cranky” in about three seconds flat. Also, online virtual world.

Did that just blow your mind?

Kids can personalize, train, and care for their Freaky Pets online. They can even connect with friends online and play games with them too! The plush pets and 3-D game combine the timeless fun of collecting stuffed animals with age-appropriate content online. It’s the future, folks. And the future is now.

I took that picture with my iPhone. Now it’s hanging on the wall in our living room. No, I didn’t nail my phone to the wall (although, thanks to AT&T I’ve been tempted on several occasions). I went to Easy Canvas Prints and had the photo placed on canvas — hence their name. It was easy — more hencing.

All you have to do is pick the picture of your choice, upload it to their user-friendly site, and then pick from a few options (size and so forth). It took me all of five minutes. Of course, the hard part is picking the photo.

If you know me in real life you know that I look like a caveman, but smell like a clean caveman, and that’s because I’m a firm believer in twice-weekly personal hygiene management. Thanks to Dove and their line of men + smell good, I’m turning heads where I used to be wilting flowers.

The Dove® Men + Care™ line is formulated specifically for men who prefer a mild, unscented body and face wash that clinically fights dryness better than regular men’s body washes. Clinically, people. That’s like WebMD and shit.

It’s also hypoallergenic and is created without dyes and fragrances for sensitive skin, not that any man has that. Dove says that their new deodorants and antiperspirants are designed to last 48 hours, but I’ve had the same stick for weeks. The stuff works.

If you’d like to know more about man smells you can read skincare tips from Dr. Benabiothe, who is apparently an expert on such things, or tweet Dove Men + Care at @dovemencare.

If you know me in real life you know that I look like a caveman, a ruggedly handsome caveman, that’s because I stole that last part from Castle (and the first part from the Dove review above). It’s an awesome show on ABC staring Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic as a writer and detective, respectively, that work together to solve crimes, create bestsellers and stir sexual tension. And it’s really funny.

Season Four just started on the TV box (which I don’t have, but I watch it on Hulu!), and Castle: The Complete Third Season just came out on DVD, which I do have, and I watch it accordingly. Still funny. Also, parenting skills.

FastPencil and Mercer Mayer have a new book called Mercer Mayer’s Little Monster Fun and Learn Book, which is better than it sounds. The book emphasizes early education and provides readers with learning fun in ABC’s, counting, and enjoying bedtime.

We received a copy in the mail today and the boys were immediately drawn to it. In fact, Atticus read the entire thing aloud to Zane over a bowl of Monsterpolitan cereal. IT. WAS. A. MONSTER. PARTY!

I’ll be reading the book again this evening — especially the part about enjoying bedtime.

Like Mercer Mayer on Facebook. I bet he’d like that.

And last, but not least, right before we moved I was sent a box of Green Lantern stuff. The graphic novel was fantastic, but not appropriate for my boys (definitely PG-13), and the animated version on DVD was equal on both accounts. However, the toys were unimaginative and not very well made, which seems wrong because Green Lantern is all about imagination. And staying in school, kids. Plus, the live-action movie looked so bad that I didn’t even see it. Still haven’t — and Green Lantern is one of my favorite heroes.

They did send Green Lantern rings though, which are so freaking awesome that I’m writing about it anyway. Darkest night and all that:

And there you have it, friends, reviews of things that I reviewed and more or less enjoyed (or my family more or less enjoyed them).

Disclosure: All of the items were sent to me by their respective manufacturers or PR Firms at no cost to me. The opinions, obviously, are my own. Please note, despite my having a bit of fun with the products I am very grateful for having had the opportunity to review them, and I thank those that thought enough to send them to me. San Dimas football rules.

It’s a well-known fact that I live each week like it’s Shark Week. The only thing that changes is the shark. Or my underpants, depending on said shark.

This week is no different, but instead of contemplating the circle of life we’re looking at some of the other fish in the sea. That’s right, it’s review time.

Here’s what happened: A) My last post changed so many lives and made me so popular that I have more followers than I need. I figure a long review post should weed out the bandwagon. 2) While packing for the move I found a whole bunch of unkept promises behind the couch, and if there is one thing that Whit Honea almost always does, it is sometimes keep a promise.

For instance, did you know that Saturnian 1 Sport “… has the world’s easiest balls to grip.”

Seriously, it says that.

I know.

They are pretty cool though. The Fun Gripper Balls (what are you, 12?) are made from soft, durable material that makes “grasping, tossing, flinging…” Jesus, I can’t do this.

Here’s what you need to know, Saturnian 1 Sport makes sports equipment that is easy to hold and throw, and they make them in bright, fun colors. They sent my kids some footballs and soccer balls and they really do love them, and yes, they are much easier to grip than a regular ball.

Now grow up.

Speaking of fondling things, Freehands makes gloves with “flip back caps to expose your thumb and index fingers” so that you can text, email, game and pick your nose while you’re driving in the winter or a walk-in freezer. Except the driving part, don’t do that.

The good people at Freehands.com were good enough (that’s why I called them “good people”) to send me some gloves to check out. They also sent a pair for my wife, which was a nice touch. I really should have covered this during the winter, which, for the record, just ended here last Thursday.

And now…

The Arts

Seattle is well-known for its music, but did you know that one of the best genres here is aimed at kids? True story. In addition to my pal Chris Ballew (hope I didn’t hurt you when I dropped that name, see also “dropping babies“) there are a number of great acts. Take Recess Monkey, please!

Recess Monkey has a new album out this month (release date is June 21, 2011) called Flying, and it’s pretty darn catchy — in a good way. The Monkeys were kind enough to send me a copy, and my boys really dig their funky sound. In fact, now that I think about it, they kind of dance like monkeys when they listen to it. I’m going to assume that this is just a coincidence, but I’ll keep you posted.

Here is what I know about Bob Logan: He has a blog called boBLOGan, which is freaking clever, and he is the author/illustrator of the book Rocket Town. Emphasis on illustrator.

Mr. Logan has a day job as a story artist at Dreamworks, and as such he has worked on such animated hits as Madagascar, Open Season and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. As you can imagine, the pictures in Rocket Town are out of this world.

See what I did there?

If I Could Keep You Little… is one of those books that make people cry in the bookstore. I tend to buy things like this for my own mother so she remembers how awesome I am.  This book, written and illustrated by Marianne Richmond, is even more sappy than most — that is to say, if you love that sort of thing you will love this, and if you don’t you’ll try to write the nicest review you possibly can without saying it was just too much for you.

Like that.

Aron Nels Steinke is the talent behind The Super Crazy Cat Dance, which is, as you may have guessed super and crazy. There is also dancing. And cats. LOL.

The Super Crazy Cat Dance is for the inner crazy cat lady in all of us, and by all of us I mean my wife.

But seriously, folks, it’s good fun and written in a style easy for kids and enjoyable for adults. Who doesn’t love that? People that aren’t kids or adults, that’s who. Also, dogs.

And there you have it, gentle reader(s). Shark Week but without the sharks plus reviews. Next up, a visit from the Green Lantern.

Believe it.

I received all of the items mentioned above from the featured companies and/or artists (or an agent working on their behalf) for the purpose of review. I’ve also received other stuff, but I don’t write about items that I (or my kids) don’t like. Negative vibes make negative people, and I don’t have time for that crap.

As I mentioned before, I have a stack of things to review and frankly, I’m tired of looking at it. In fact, I think I’m done reviewing stuff unless someone sends me more stuff.

In the meantime, humor me as I keep my word while spreading it at the same time. I know, it’s awesome.

STUFF:

Hasbro was kind enough to send me a new spin on the classic game Mouse Trap. It’s part of their U-Build  series where the players actually build and customize the board. Yes, you read me.

The game has a bunch of U-Build bricks which are exactly like, but are not, another popular building brick that the kids love. It also has a Space Boot(!), some small parts and the trap.  Sadly, the mouse is not included and that actually turned out to be the most difficult, yet most rewarding, part of the game. Do you know how hard it is to catch a mouse with a plastic trap and a bunch of building bricks?  Pretty hard. The sense of accomplishment that my children achieved was worth all of the rabies shots in the world.

The U-Build spin on an already fun game pays off. It’s like two games in one: the building game where my kids fight and scream over how the board will look and the Mouse Trap game where my kids fight and scream over the first aid kit.  Of course, neither of those last two sentences are true. However, the part about it being two games in one is an actual fact based on my opinion as well as those of the people at Hasbro, and they’re right.

If U-Build it the fun will come. Also, rodents.

**********

The Idle Parent by  author Tom Hodgkinson looks like a nice book. It has a reddish-orange cover that I’m tempted to call a burnt sienna, but it could be the light in here — or the 4 months of dust that the book has accumulated. This is not the fault of the book or Mr. Hodgkinson, who also wrote How to Be Idle and The Freedom Manifesto.  No, it is the fault of time and my lack of it.

The book is subtitled, “Why Laid-back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids,” which is a statement I’m inclined to agree with.  The kids on the cover look happy enough and their dad is totally napping on the couch. And he’s wearing Vans.  If that doesn’t scream laid-back then I don’t know what does.

I think the book weighs about a pound and a half. Give or take. It has 251 pages.

**********

I really dropped the ball on a review that I was supposed to write for All About Beer Magazine and my fellow DadCentricite, Greg, by losing a copy of a book they sent me called Beer Across Texas. Here’s the thing, Texas is huge and the book isn’t, which leads me to believe that the authors only discussed the good beers across Texas and not every crappy can of suds they came upon.  In the industry we call this attention to “quality” and we like it. My most sincere apologies to All About Beer, Greg and the authors of Beer Across Texas. Also, smaller books are apparently easier to lose.

Seriously, I can’t find it anywhere.

**********

Candlewick Press was kind enough to send a collection of summer reading over for my boys. The titles include:

It’s Vacation Time by Lerryn Korda, which is a really cute book that my 4-year-old loves. It’s about, wait for it, vacation time! The story is big on using your imagination and we’re big on that.

Maisy Goes to the Museum by Lucy Cousins is about Maisy the mouse and frankly, I can’t read it without hearing the narrators voice from the TV show. And what’s up with Charley?
But I digress. This book is for preschool kids and my preschool kid thinks it’s great and he doesn’t care how many times Charley has been dropped on his head.

Flanimals Pop-Up, which was written by Ricky Gervais, yes, that Ricky Gervais, and illustrated by Rob Steen. With a name like Flanimals Pop-Up, it’s exactly what you’d expect, but with a writer like Ricky Gervais it’s like nothing you could ever imagine. Within reason. It’s good fun.

Judy Moody’s Way Wacky Uber Awesome Book of More Fun Stuff to Do, The Oceanology Handbook – A Course For Underwater Explorers and Show Off – How to Do Absolutely Everything are big hits with my 7-year-old for all the reasons clearly stated in each book’s respective title. He likes wacky, uber, awesome, underwater exploring and doing absolutely everything. It’s like they were made for him.

Where’s Waldo? The Ultimate Travel Collection by Martin Handford is billed as the essential travel companion, and after it kept my kids quiet on an airplane for two hours I’m inclined to agree.

I still don’t know where Waldo is, but I think he stole my beer book.

All of the Candlewick Press books listed above have been big hits with my kids and for that I’m thankful. Thanks, Candlewick Press!

**********

And now for something completely different.

Scholastic sent me two new books, Max Spaniel: Funny Lunch and Firehouse! that my boys love.

They’re both about dogs and they are loads of fun. I’m supposed to write a review on them, but I don’t want to spoil the plot(s). Besides, this post is already longer than both books combined.

Here’s the fun part, I’m giving away 3 sets of the books! Yes, now you can own your very own copies of these entertaining books and all you have to do to win is leave a comment stating that you would like the books! I’ll send the books to three(3) random entries. The contest is only open to residents of the U.S. and P.O. boxes are not allowed. My apologies to other countries and anyone that rents a mailbox.

**********

And on that note, my pile of items to review is gone! Literally, I’ve been moving each item out of my office as I go and whoa, carpet!

Please note, I really do appreciate the items sent to me for review (which are all of the items listed in this post) and I wouldn’t include them here if I didn’t think people would enjoy them.  Stuff that sucks doesn’t make the page, man. Honea don’t play that.

Peace out.

I’m assuming by your mere presence here that you are somewhat literate. That being the case there is a fair chance that you enjoy a good book now and again. How would you like to OWN not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, not ten, not eleven, not… oh wait, yes, 11- how would you like to win eleven books? That’s the prize, my friends.

Eleven books will go to not one, not two, not three, not four, but five readers. Yes, 5 people will win eleven books each. Can you feel the excitement? The fact that I only have five readers makes your odds of winning a major award very good. Like Pete Rose good.

Here are the books you may win, as provided by our sponsor Hachette Book Group, USA:

The books have been selected especially for dads. This isn’t because I don’t like non-dads, but because Father’s Day is coming up. BTW, if anyone is sounding this out, I don’t need a tie. I work at home. I don’t even need pants. Just put some beer in the icebox and let me take a nap.

Here is the contest. It is a simple multiple choice questionnaire followed by a short essay. You have 10 minutes to complete it. Winners will be drawn randomly from all completed submissions.

1. How many jelly beans are in this jar?
a) 1,673
b) 1,674
c) 6
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

2. Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
a) living in a trailer park with Elvis
b) growing grass in the Meadowlands
c) buried under 1,673 jelly beans
d) who the hell is Jimmy Hoffa?

3. Which thing does not belong:
a) Guinness
b) Bass
c) Stone
d) Budweiser

The essay: In 25 words, exactly, explain why you would like to win.
The extra credit: In 10 words, exactly, explain your feelings for Whit.

Winners will be notified in the comments and via email. Contest closes on Tuesday, June 10th at 11:59 p.m..<- do I need this extra period here?

We’ve got winners! They’re in the comments.

Disclaimer for a contest*, but not this one:
1. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A purchase will not improve your chance of winning.
2. ELIGIBILITY. Contest is open only to legal residents of the United States who are currently over the age of 18 and have children who attend elementary, private or parochial schools that serve grades PreK-6. No home schools will be accepted.
*This disclaimer is actually from a Subway contest. I thought I’d use it since I have a nice group of readers outside of the U.S., and also home schoolers, both of which probably don’t get hazed enough. The rules listed DO NOT apply to my contest- anyone can win, even Jared.

I was sitting in a bookstore in Hollywood talking to Neal Pollack and had just finished saying something stupid to a friend of his about her shoes when Rebecca Woolf walked in. We were introduced and Neal went on to tell me that Rebecca had just signed a book deal. She was stunning so I only hated her for a moment. She talked briefly about the book before being whisked away to give chase to her motherly duties.

Later, while I was reading whatever it was I was reading, Rebecca and her son Archer made a few laps around me and every time one of us would nod or smile to the other, sometimes both. Archer was oblivious to me. I doubt that Rebecca remembers any of that, but I do, because watching her and her son made me feel guilty that I hadn’t brought mine with me. Of course an hour later I was sitting around a pitcher of margaritas with Jason Avant and Whiffleboy, my colleagues at DadCentric, and I was long over any remorse of paternal guilt.

Her book, Rockabye, is now out, and upon reading it I was immediately hit by two things, a) this isn’t your typical parenting book, and b) I totally missed her slut phase. I won’t lie. The latter hurt a little.

If you read Rebecca’s blog(s) then you have an idea of what to expect from her story. She is tough as she is tender and above all she is honest. Her writing is welcoming, and she invites you to come in, have a drink, take your shoes off and be comfortable in your own skin, and hers as well.

It is a narrative of insight and understanding that allows the reader to relate and reflect.

For instance: “Who are we to tame our children before they even understand what it means to be wild? Who are we to limit their experience with our own closed minds? And don’t we remember what it felt like to be kids? Because if I’m not mistaken, every single thing my mother told me not to do I did. Twice.”

Exactly. Yet, I have found myself doing just that, trying to stay the inevitable when in truth I am only delaying it, perhaps magnifying it. Her words made me stop and take a breath. I do remember what it was like to be a kid, and still, it is easy to forget. Too easy.

There is inspiration there, and it continues throughout: “Martyrdom does not bring into the world children with a strong sense of self. A mother who sacrifices her livelihood for her children is risking not only her own loss of identity but also the well-being of her children. No child deserves to be resented. It is possible to do it all well.”

And she does.

At least on paper. She will be the first to admit that she is flawed, and rather than hide her blemishes she has chosen to embrace them. They are, after all, what makes us who we are.

Hers is the real world, and it is full of rainbows.

Read more from Rebecca at Girl’s Gone Child and Straight form the Bottle. Buy Rockabye here or at a bookseller near you (also available in my sidebar!).