Posts Tagged ‘ripping off dr seuss’
If They Ran The Circus I’d Be Dead By Now
“Boys, be quiet,” I said yet again.
For them it would happen, the question was when.
“Close your books,” I added, “and turn off the light.
“Pull up your blanket and shut your eyes tight!”
They ignored every word, they laughed with a cry –
forgetting that Yoda says do and not try
and that doing what I do is how Daddy do it
and if they do less: allowance? They blew it.
I gave them a minute then a second or four
until it was clear they appeared to care more
about playing and talking and ignoring their dad,
crossing the lines between good kids and bad.
I walked the walk of knock that shit off
I got to their door and walked in with a cough
that announced I was there to make it all stop
that announced I was mad, their big angry pop.
The floor it was wet, the water glass empty
they hooted, they hollered and oh, how it tempt me
to smack on their butts until their cracks doubled
but spanking, in theory, leaves me puzzled and troubled.
So I gave them a lecture. It was fierce. I was stern.
Until it sunk in, they had lessons to learn.
The rules of bedtime are set strict like a diet;
if you’re gonna be sneaky, for Pete’s sake be quiet.
And now a dramatic reading by the author:
If They Ran the Circus I’d be Dead by Now
